I went for a dance class today after five months of not being in the dance studio and GOSH I feel so good!!!!!!

Dancers would observe my dance and notice that my dance wasn't sharp or clean enough, but hey, I remembered more steps this time, because usually I'd remember the first two counts well, then gets all over the place. But I think, today I remembered more. It helps that I attended Galen's online class on how to retain choreography and her tips have been useful.

I believe everyone has a way to show confidence and a lot of people assume that I have a very high confidence level. I run on the 'fake it till you make it' fuel. But there's always the archive button. Hehe.

The dance instructor remembered me so yay! She said, "oh you took my beginner's class last year, right? You were in the 7/11 video. I remember!"

I always feel welcomed when educators remember me. Maybe I do try my very best to stand out. Maybe I do seek external validation because of how much self-doubt I have. But lets not talk about that today. What I do want to talk about is that, if I were to ever be an educator, or a mentor of some sort, it is always nice to remember all those who are under your wing and the little things you did with them, albeit how minimal it is. 

You know those moments when you think, "oh I did well!" but when you actually see the quality of your work, you'd be like, "whoa you are definitely far from it." That's how I feel looking back at my dance today. I felt disappointed in myself at first, but I'm giving myself a free pass because it's my first time dancing in the studio after months! 

It makes me realise that the only way to move forward is to keep going! I always admire friends who post dance videos and seeing their progress as years pass by. I aspire to be like them and eventually feel better about my dancing abilities in the future.

Dance taught me a lot since the past three years I have decided to try it out. It gave me friends who empower me to this day. It made me feel comfortable in my own skin. It taught me that if you be patient and continue dancing, you will actually be a better dancer. 

So yes, I am now alive.