One of the papers which came to mind recently was a paper by Camerer et. al (not sure which year) called, "One Day at a Time". They did an empirical research on the labour supply of New York City Cabdrivers and how they collect their income. Unlike other traditional jobs, they have daily target on their income, and will only stop working once they've achieved their daily targets, hence rejecting the theory of labour supply, which indicated that people pool their monthly wages and that's how they determine their labour supply. I also quite like this paper because it intertwines both my favourite Economics modules, Behavioural and Labour Economics.

While I'm not here to bore you with the things I learn in my degree (heck, I'm not even sure if my understanding of this paper is correct), today has remarkably been the best day of this year. It's really funny saying this because just yesterday, I was having such a stressful time, I was struggling with getting the Summary Statistics for my dissertation, which I needed to present the day after. I also realised that my dataset is pretty much limiting me from getting my outcome, and that getting a proper dataset requires my registration to be confirmed by the institution which has the dataset I need, (in laymen terms; I cannot access the additional dataset I need for my dissertation). So much that I decided to spend £20 on a waffle and chocolate cookie dough. It's £20 (RM100) that I'll never get back, unfortunately. I honestly have a very toxic relationship with food, but that is something to write about later, but the desserts really did not give me the happiness and utility I needed to overcome this situation. I would love to walk to the dance studio or the swimming pool, but it requires walking. I was stuck in my room so much that I didn't even realise that a storm with a name hit the UK yesterday. Storm Ciara, as they call it has destroyed houses, suspended and delayed trains and was a scary experience to those who were outdoors. No wonder the vibe was just bad yesterday.

Anyways, back to today, it really has been the best day ever. My heart was palpitating and it was beating non stop. I did want to meditate, so I prayed to Allah, as prayers are part of meditation too. I googled, "the best surah to calm your anxiety", and Surah Yusuf popped up, a surah in the Quran which tells the story of Prophet Yusuf (Joseph). He was thrown into a large well by his brothers because they were jealous that their dad, Prophet Yaakub (Jacob) loved him most. When Prophet Yaakub lost Yusuf, he cried so much that he went blind. At this moment, he prayed to God and hoped that Yusuf is alright. 

(Surah Yusuf, verse 86)

Years later, Prophet Yusuf became a renowned person in the government, for interpreting the dream that soon the country will be in drought and famine. He then sought to find his brothers and father and was reunited with them in the end.

I know I am not a very religious person, but it's comforting to confide in Allah, and to know that whatever happens, He will always be by your side. And that's the beauty of Islam. 

Minutes later, I was able to see the outcome of the thing I was so anxious for. When I saw it, it's like part of the weight is off my shoulders, it's like I could finally breathe normally again. I continued to get ready to go to uni, to ensure I look well-put together for my presentation.

As I was walking to my university, I listened to the song called "Heartlines" by Broods and one of the lyric goes, "Have you been let down by the ones before?", and I thought of those moments when I was let down before. Maybe it's because I had way too much expectations from people, and myself. I cried while listening to this song, because I learnt to let go of these expectations. I manage to cling onto those who empower me, instead of being bogged down with the past. I am able to meet inspiring people in this university, find my tribe, able to casually talk about my life to them without feeling judged, let the words flow easily, became a better listener and experienced plenty of humbling moments throughout my three years here. I know you are sick of listening to me say it over and over and over again, but truly, I am grateful. That Allah finally opened up my eyes and realise why I'm here.

I did my presentation, and though I had to condense all that I wanted to say in 15 minutes, and I felt like I was rapping most of the time, Nicki Minaj has got nothing on me. But I do feel like my dissertation is going to be useful. I know that it's not promising because of the limitations I have on my dataset, but it could potentially be something that I can contribute, if my future really is with the Central Bank. The thought made me feel better, so I proceeded with my presentation feeling optimistic.

As I was walking to go home, I passed by my supervisor. She said that my presentation was clear, and that I can talk about the limitations later with her. It was really nice to be affirmed by those who educate you, something I haven't experienced since I got to uni. I can also tell that she's nervous about the module she's about to lecture tomorrow, a module that I am in, as she keeps asking about how the class is. I hope I have assured her that everything is going to be alright and that she will be amazing. It honestly is nice to have a supervisor that you can talk to like a friend. So if anything, Allah really has granted my prayers when I asked Him for a good and compatible supervisor for my dissertation.

Hours later, I also received an email from the institution that I have been granted access to the dataset that I can potentially use for my dissertation. I am beyond happy and looking forward to see more promising outcomes in my dissertation.

Like the NYC cabdrivers, I learn to take things one day at a time. Maybe today I can be the happiest I've been, maybe another day I will be upset, maybe in other days I feel angry. And that is okay, because I can get through this. And if you are reading this, you will get through it too.