Everyone loves this topic. It gets you all fluffy and dreamy. The first time I said about this publicly was when I did an oral English test in 2014, and I think I got a 90 for it. Then I talked about my running journey (and a bit on how I overcame ED) and got 100 for that one hehe. But I guess the characteristics change from time to time. I want to document this here, because I want to look back in years to come, to see if anything has changed.

Firstly, I want someone who will help me towards the Deen (religion). Lately, I've been in the AAPlus community and some of them have been sharing how their husbands have helped them in their spirituality journey. For instance, if this woman wants to perform her tahajud (early morning) prayers, the husband would wake her up so that she can do it. Oh god, how beautiful is that?

I want someone who supports me in my career and passion too. Be it writing, doing sports, makeup or fashion. I want them to support me in what I do. Plus point if they too, do sports, because only sports people are crazy enough to wake up early to go for a run. Mom says I can easily find them in Putrajaya running on weekends (haha). I even read this article titled, "If you can't find a spouse that supports your career, stay single." I recently wrote a comprehensive 10-year plan, and none of which include finding a spouse or a partner, is that weird? Will it backfire? Only Allah knows. I can only plan, but indeed Allah is the Best Planner.

I want someone to listen, because I can never stop talking, I am and will always be an extrovert. I love talking, I love engaging in intellectual discussions, even when I am not that intellectual, I love talking about the things I love, and I'd want someone I can come back home to, to tell about my day, without being judged for the things I do. And if I did something which is not feasible for this person, instead of him telling me to do the right thing, he will help me by committing to the right thing together. Because the last thing I want is to know that I'm alone in this. 

I want someone who respects all women. One tip I got from my mom is that, to know how a person will treat you, look at how he treats all women. One time, my mom got into a miscommunication with a couple at the hospital, and the guy was shouting at my mom, and my mom said, "I'm sorry, I was dealing with a cancer patient.", and he screamed, "OK WE'RE ALL SICK!" When guys have the audacity to scream at other women in front of you, it is a red flag. That's when you know, if they can do it to a stranger, there's a high chance they can do the same to you.

Then I started thinking, I have this list, but why do I need to find these qualities in someone else? I recently read somewhere that you have to be the person you are in love with. I do not think I am in love with anyone, but I do think of these qualities in the back of my mind. So why do I need to find someone with these values,

when I can develop these values for myself?

I can help myself towards the Deen by praying on time, understanding Allah and the Prophet more and being a better servant, daughter, friend and colleague to others. I can strive for my career by having good work ethics and perform work which exceeds beyond expectations, I can work on my passion by just typing out, "Hello" onto this blog, I can be a better listener by listening to my friends intently, and more importantly by being a better listener to myself. I can be kind towards everyone and understand that there are underlying reasons why people act the way they do, hence to never take things personally. 

I can indeed, be the person I am in love with.

And if I need help, I have a lot of people around me that can help pull me back towards the right path. My family, my friends, the AA Plus community, my Lilly Sabri buddy system and my colleagues. 

Therefore, while I wait for my dream person, if ever Allah blesses me with one, I shall work on being my best self, as I always do.