In my last few weeks in the small town of Minamiuonuma, a close friend entrusted me with his car. I was cautious at first, but once I got the hang of it, off I go to the many ventures all over the countryside.
At the start, I could finally use it as a way to get away from the university. It's not that I hate the crowd, the past few months have always been about parties and getting people together, so much that I crave my own me time. I miss just having me and my thoughts. Perhaps I did a great job at convincing people I have an endless amount of energy. While that may be true, there will be times I need to charge it.
And so I would drive off alone, find the nearest swimming pool, explore good tempura udon, and end up in a kissaten overseeing the heavy rain. At least I get one good day on my own. Then on the days after, I took my friends to beaches, mountains, skylines. I don't know why, but part of me feels like it's unfair if I get to enjoy all these on my own. So I voluntarily became a driver and take these people to enjoy the countryside with me.
It's a strange feeling to see everyone taking their phones out during the joyride, while I drive and capture it all with my own eyes. But I see the appeal now. I find joy in making people happy, and really, this was how I get my energy. When I'm with the right crowd, I am constantly energetic.
Now I am in Tokyo, I won't have the opportunity to drive as much, yet, I remain in the driver's seat. This time around, I will have to choose the path I need to take. Perhaps I have been in the dark tunnel too long, it is hard to see when I drive in this path that's brimming with sunlight. After all, I still have astigmatism. It gets overwhelming, but I have to always remind myself this is what I always wanted.
So dear self, please drive to the best destinations. Even if you end up in the wrong destination, a detour or two wouldn't hurt. Maybe the best journeys are within those short detours. But always, always remember your main destination, to enjoy your learning journey, the same way you felt when you were a kid. Try to find that hardworking kid who loves what she's studying again, I'm sure she's closer than you think.
