I know I am not going anywhere yet until Results Day. But right now, I am only thinking of the people I have spent my time with for the past few years. Without them, I wouldn't be who I am right now. They have shaped me to become the person I am and I am eternally grateful for that. Hence, this may be the lengthiest post I will ever write in my blogging history.

When I was growing up, I always felt like a loner. I always screw up my friendships with people. I sometimes feel like I have some social disorder. I always ended up eating alone, because I was afraid to ask random people if I could sit with them. Because obviously, like high school, the level of loneliness depends on how many friends you are eating with in the dining hall/canteen.

Now I am on my break and I look back and I realised, I do have friends. It was all just me. All those times I thought I was a loner, I really, wasn't. It was not until these past few months when I realised this. Hence, I will write this post for my friends. I'm not ranking any of you because you are all equally important to me.

Durrah

Hey, you! The fan of my blog since 2011!! (or so I think haha). You often said to me that I inspire you, or stuff like, whatever I do makes you happy. But in reality, I feel like it's otherwise. I am an avid reader of your blog. Although I skipped your K-Pop blog posts, I always leave your blog feeling so inspired, because you write with your heart. I love how genuine you are and how you're ALWAYS available when I ask if you're free to go out. More importantly, I will always remember that time when I felt sad, and you called to ask me if I am okay. It's like you knew that I wasn't okay. I felt like it was okay to cry on the phone when you called. You may think that you can't give the best advice, but that's the best thing a friend could do, to listen. You said that in time, I will forget you, but trust me Durrah, I will never forget you. You are making the right choice by pursuing Psychology, because you're a great listener. I hope to return that favour so please, do whatsapp me if you need help. I love you so much. It will be impossible to forget you, my friend who gives the best deadpan jokes/juiciest gossips.

Ilham

Ola Ilham! My friend since Form One. When I first saw you, you were a timid girl who has the thickest notepad ever. I don't know man, but I'm always drawn into quiet and introvert people. I think it's because I am such an opposite. I'm loud and expressive, so I needed some introverts as friends to mediate my personality. I love how caring you are. When my birthday was coming up, you decided to make a bag for me. Every year, I will get the coolest handmade stuff from you. No matter how grandma-like it sounds, but you're the kindest most caring people I've ever met. I am beyond happy to see how you are now. You are so open now and I feel like I know you better than I have first met you. I really hope that I played a role as your friend, although I was there in Sri Aman for only a short while. I love your character development, how you've progressed. You're the literal example of a metamorphosis. You have gone so far to be where you are now. You will be such a successful graphic designer and trust me when I say you have a very bright future. Hopefully when I have my own boutique, I can hire you as my graphic designer. I think your posters can boost the amount of potential customers that I will have. Always believe that everything will be okay and if you ever feel the need to talk to someone, I'm always here. Love you loads bb!

Asyrine

Asyrine, my bro from another mother! You know I love you, right? When you feel like the world is tumbling down and you feel like the world is against you, just remember, Allah isn't against you. These are challenges from Allah that you have to face. The only thing you have to do is to stop thinking about what others think about you. Back in tgb when I was bullied, my Mama would tell me, "Only you can define who you are." So chin up, and move forward. There will always be people against us but nothing, nor anyone, can break you, if you stand tall for yourself. Love yourself. Love who you are. Find that drive to keep you grounded and which could enable you to push yourself forward. Please know that your parents care for you, a lot. Especially your mom, who was thoughtful enough to cook nasi ayam for me. You will succeed, you are young. Like the rest of us. But be unafraid. Go out there. Go unleash the best Asyrine that you can ever be. Go try out for the theatre production, go to the things you never dared to try out but always wanted to. Just go. I will be supporting you wherever you go.

Hani/Farah

I'm pretty sure KTJ people don't read my blog but if you are a KTJ student, then Hani is a nickname for Farah Farzana. At first, you were the most intimidating person in TGB because dang, you're so darn good in debating and you always say the right things. When we were in the same block in Form Five, that's when I realised that you are one of a kind. You show to people what people want you to be. But like every other human being, you are vulnerable. On top of all that, you have been able to listen to my problems in TGB. When I was at my depression phase in KTJ, you were there to listen. I will definitely miss our late night talks in Safiyyah in TGB, and all the way to our one to one dinner sessions in KTJ. I love how we complement each other not by giving each other advice, but rather, just by listening to each other. You and I are no different in terms of academics (we wanted to pursue Actuarial Science but ended up pursuing Economics instead lol), but you are different in a sense that you can be a good friend to many, and you can get along with almost everyone and I admire you for that. I hope that I can see you again in the UK next year, hopefully in the same university.

Azreena

I was in a circle of friends whom I thought could be my friends in the long run. Then one day, I fell sick. None of those who I deemed as my 'circle of friends' called. Suddenly, I got a call from a chirpy voice saying, "Hey, its Azreena! Here's the homework for today!". At that time, I rarely talked to her but




You

You know who you are. You are mentioned here because you impacted my life the most, even when I may not create an impact in yours. I said everything I had to say. In one of the letters you've given me, you said that you are never going to say goodbye to me. But your very last message sounded like a goodbye. If it is, then, goodbye.