Dear Aynn,

Before you proceed for your second year. Do take time to read this. Maybe this warning/message will benefit all.

1. Studying two terms worth of syllabus in three days is NOT the way to go

what the fuck were you doing in the last two terms? Oh yeah, wasting time being depressed. But it's okay honey, don't do that for your second year yeah? Start early! You know your game now, so build your momentum from your first term. Don't slack. Keep your eye ahead of the game.

2. Learn to cope with your anxieties

You sometimes tell yourself that you are wasting time with anxieties and that these anxieties are unnecessary, but you gotta accept that it happens, and it is what it is. But you gotta COPE WITH IT. Act quick. Think, what happens during your anxiety? Take time out.

3. By I mean taking time out, it doesn't mean going to Rootes Grocery Store and buy that delicious cookie worth 1.75 quid, nor that Krispy Kreme!

Take a walk, if its in spring, summer. Sign up for fitness/dance classes if its during winter. Swim as much as you want, even if it means getting frequent verrucas and ear infections. Okay, that didn't sound right. But anything is better than sudden splurge on sugary food. Not only will your self-esteem worsen, you will also be hella broke. Take a look at me now, I only have a single digit worth of money left in my bank account to last me two weeks here. I am now surviving under the mercy of the prayer hall and people's kindness in offering me their food. Tragic.

4. You CAN do it. You KNOW you can.

If you put in effort, you know you are able to get that score! If you are able to not repeat the same mistakes, you KNOW you can improve. Speaking of which,

5. Do NOT think about the grades you will get, think about the sole purpose of why you are educating yourself.

It is so that when you go back, you can serve the country. The country is already making drastic structural reforms, you can be a part of it now. With the unexceptional education system here, you know you can make a difference to your country. You KNOW you are worth it. Stop hating yourself.

6. It is okay to be a little imperfect

I am now in the phase of giving up after failing plenty of times. But IT. IS. OKAY! I know you'll get a bit emotional reading this because I am on the verge of tears as I type this but know that IT IS OKAY TO FAIL. Fail now, rather than fail later. Get out of this phase, please, I beg you. When you get back from second year, I want you to be in shape ready to slay your degree!

7. It is okay to get help

I would like to thank Durrah for paving me a way to deal with my problems. I've always been an open book, exposing my problems in this blog, but the sad thing is, people read my blog without ever giving a solution (except Durrah ofc), hence it's a one-way communication. I decided to finally seek help and hopefully, can recover. Please do not stop getting help. It is OKAY to get help. It is okay to spare a bit of your time for your wellbeing. It is all right.

8. Get reliable friends to help you out.

Lower down your ego and social anxieties (its hard, I know) AND TALK TO THESE PEOPLE! Talking to white people is scary (I only talk to them if they approach me first bcs of my social anxiety) but now that you know they're less intimidating as you think they are, TALK TO THEM! These people are naturally smart so you can definitely exploit/ make them your study buddy. Keep your study buddies you have in your first year so that you can continue motivating each other and push each other to score well in studies. You know studying in groups are important - the information must be shared so that your comprehension of the topics tally each other.

9. EXPLOIT ALL THE SERVICES PROVIDED BY THE ECONOMICS DEPT

i DON'T KNOW WHY I'M SUDDENLY SCREAMING but I can't emphasize enough how important it is to ask your seminar tutors and lecturers questions.

a) Immediately ask them questions if you don't understand the lecture
b) Oh and before anything, GO TO THE LECTURE! I don't care if you do not have enough sleep or that you take up too much activities, just go. Even if you don't understand anything, just go. You and I both know we can't be bothered to lecture capture everything you've missed. The Central Bank and Malaysian taxpayers paid tons for your education - so please go to your lectures.
c) List down all the lecturers and seminar tutors' office hours and go to them and ask EVERY QUESTION you don't know! Ask them to repeat so long as you understand!!
d) Go to all the extra lessons provided by the Econ department! Be an ambassador even
e) Try to get a job! See how the real working world is like, I notice the difference between you and your friends is that they already have experience. You have the luxury to study abroad but still do not have working experience. So you gotta work on that. In this era, the world is competitive. You'll never know what to expect from it.

10. Have a balance in life

Do not take too many activities like you did this year. Chill. Second year counts. But at the same time, have a balance. Because hey, my coping mechanism this year was that, "ok my academic life is shit but at least I performed at Warwick Arts Centre, Albany Theatre and Leamington Spa Town Hall all in a year." Julie told me I don't give much credit to myself as much as I should. So whatever you do, be it performing in the Warwick grounds, survived boxing with Nigel as your partner *cries*, or scoring a 2:1 for your test, pat yourself in the back and say, "good job, Ain. You did it."

Okay no Ain, your academic life is not shit but you! still! have! time! to! improve!

Good luck honey, nobody's gonna say that but me, so good luck! Love you loads!