She'll be fine on her own, she said.

Sometimes, I wish I don't care so much about what people think of me, because I think, the one thing that deters me from achieving my full potential is the fact that yes, I do care about what people think. I seek external validation.

As of writing, I am thinking of what people may think of me. Do they think, "why does she open up so much to the public?" Am I doing things wrong? Am I wrong to do this? Am I wrong in trying to be better? Am I wrong to stop caring about what people think of me?

Growing pains hurt, not entirely because you're leaving the comfort of your past, but because you're delving into the uncertainty of the future. 

Do you remember there was a time where small fishes eating your feet was a thing? They say that it'll help kill the bacteria off your feet. Only God knows how terrified I was when I was told to put my feet into the pond. Why would I let those fishes bite my feet? But because the services were paid, I had no choice but to do it.

Entering into a new phase of life feels like that. Regardless whether you get your dream job, or a less than optimal job, it's still something new. It scares you more if it's something you've never done before, people questioning your abilities, the searching for people for lunch , the expectations of the higher-ups and trying to impress them; because first impressions count.

But gosh that feeling when your managers are understanding, or when they tell you that you're doing a good job, when they give you opportunities to present to important people, when your topic you've assessed is important enough to be flagged to important people in the organisation. These little things matter, that sometimes, the hurtful things people say or act to your (un)fortune don't matter anymore. 

Work hard, keep your head down, set your well-meaning intentions, and someday you'll reap the rewards, insyaAllah.