It is announced that the lockdown will be extended for a month, and this time, it includes almost all states in Malaysia except Perlis, Kelantan and Pahang. 

I haven't experienced lockdown in Malaysia yet, the first lockdown I was in the UK, with the best housemates I've ever had. Only they have seen my depressive state of mind. I can be a lot, to be honest.

Before making this blog public, I had to draft a lot of my publish posts, but I guess I'll open up about my vulnerability bit by bit. It's therapeutic to express myself.

I also deactivated my Instagram after sensing that my insecurity and self-hatred was heightening. The Blackpink algorithm got to me, I feel. Seeing their perfect figures everyday is deteriorating my mental health. I love them, but it is a red flag when I compared my figure with theirs. So I decided to give myself a break. I'll come back when I can breath again, and when social media doesn't take so much of my time, that it takes a toll on my mental health.

I also did a thing I never thought I'd do. But with some help, I did it. I'm just so proud of myself. It was taking up so much of my mental space, so I did it, because I love myself that I don't like to see myself hurt. I am not worthy of that. Instead, I am worthy of all good things in life. It's the baby steps that count. 

Today, I learnt more about social media addiction. My friend posted a paper she read on her Story so I asked for the link to read it. Here it is, for your reading pleasure. They identified 6 phases of addiction;