Have you ever thought about why there are people who left you?

Sometimes I wonder that. Am I too possessive? Am I too ignorant? Am I a spoiled brat? Do I wear too much makeup? Do I show myself too much? Am I too fat? Do I care too much? Am I too needy?

Have you also thought what went wrong?

Did I not study enough? Was my schedule badly arranged? Were the amount of essays given to my teachers not enough?

Well, screw that.

If there are people who leave you and make you question about yourself, then clearly they're not worth it. Do not ever let anyone define you or think that there is something wrong with you. Because there is absolutely nothing wrong with you. Unless it's constructive criticism. If they truly care for you, they will tell you and they will help you be better. Those who stay with you when you are yourself; they are definitely keepers; those you should cherish for life.

If anything went wrong, then it is NOT because of your lack of hard work. You know yourself, how hard you have worked for your dreams. If you didn't make it, then that's just not your fault. We have done our best. "Kita dah buat bahagian kita". The rest is all up to Allah the Almighty. If He destined you to be elsewhere, then you will be elsewhere, no matter how hard you work. Kun Fayakun. You know why, right? It is because He knows better.

My friend told me recently, "mungkin Allah jealous kot sbb you selalu fikir pasal dia, that you forgot to think about Him." And I guess that's true. Maybe that's why certain people have left me. Because I care about them too much that I forget about Allah. Astaghfirullahalazim.

And maybe by going to a place where you did not dream of, you will be closer to Him. That is our final destination. We go to top universities to please our future employers. But we accept the things as it is to please Allah; to show Him that we are content with whatever He has destined us to be.

Life is interesting, every day I learn new things and I will share whatever I learn as much as I can until my last breath insyaAllah.