Hi everyone! I am not sure if by this time, I would have made this blog public. Not sure if I am mentally able to, since this blog has been sacred to me and my close friends for quite a while now. But I know for a fact that this blog was once useful to those who sought for scholarships; a chance for them to change their lives and pursue their dreams. So I need to think for others, and not only for my self-interest.

If I have made this blog public, let me welcome new readers (if any) into this blog! For those who have been reading my blog for a long time, welcome back! I miss you too. I may overshare in some cases, but I'm one to write with my heart, so whatever that comes out of this blog, I can assure you that it is with sincerity, and if in any way it hurts you, do let me know. After several months of learning and unlearning, I have learnt to finally accept the fact that what I write and say may not be accurate, and there are times where people will say things about me and use my words against me, but believe me when I say, I am more than happy to accept constructive criticism. I want to be a person of growth, I have accepted that I will never be perfect, and there are times that I will slip up. And I need your help as I become a work in progress.

There are loads of things to say, really. So, I've graduated months ago, and now I am working. Crazy! I still find it crazy that me, a 22 year old with a 7 year old brain is working to serve the nation. But I know that this is all due to Allah's blessings and I will always be grateful for this. 

Oh and can I also say that, we are in a pandemic, and my district is put on lockdown. Yay! (Please sense the sarcasm). I have accepted the fact that this isn't "The New Normal", or "Unprecedented Times". This is the normal and the precedented times. I have accepted that this is my life now and I'll just have to adapt to this. So as a person who started her first full-time job in a pandemic, let me write to you what I expected and what happens in reality. 

Disclaimer: Everyone's experience differs. Here's my story, yours may be different.

First days are important, they say. That's when your colleagues form their first impression on you. You wear your best-looking clothes, possibly even practice how you carry yourself towards other people. You're used to being friendly and chirpy, so you want to make a good first impression

Nope, not even the admins. Because of the work from home policy, there's only one person in the office that day. Nobody will be welcoming you. So you have to be able to tell them, "Hey, I'm new. I'm not sure what to do next. Who do I report to?" and all other relevant questions. So you get the contacts of those who are able to get you to your supervisor and managers to remotely set you up in the office.

To be honest, you'd still have to go to the office to do work because you can't work from home if you don't have your VPN, so you'd spend the time to get to know one person each day. All you have to do is push aside your social anxiety and say hi and introduce yourself. If they're busy, they'll let you know. Eventually, when they're free, they'll come to your workplace and you can have a quick chat with them. They want to get to know you too.

In my final year of university, I didn't have to do a virtual presentation. But I had to lead a knowledge sharing session on my second week of work. It was my first virtual presentation (wait not really, I did present to some TGB kids in April, but that's not employers ahaha), so it was quite weird. I think I'm so used to present face to face, where I can make contact with my friends or the audience, and they'd give me an assurance look, and it affirms that they are listening. 

But now, it feels like you're talking to yourself. And you won't know what their expressions are, are they even listening to you? I miss the eye contact, basically. But that's "The New Normal". So you have to make that affirmation to yourself and carry on. It is a confidence booster in the end when you get a ping from your manager saying "good job" after your presentation

Since you've just started work, it's normal for you to expect a lot of work, especially since people tell you that it'll be a "steep learning curve".

Reality: "Hi, I exist."

When you work from home, it's quite normal for you to be forgotten, in a way. It's like saying, "Hi, I'm here", and you want to be useful. So don't be afraid to initiate a conversation with your manager asking for work (if you don't have any). I heard that sometimes, it is a test to see if you are a self-initiator or not. So be proactive. Make them know you're here. Otherwise, you'd be getting that end-month salary without doing anything. I don't know about you, but that defeats my values because I'd want to earn something because I deserve it. So don't be afraid to ask for work!

I remember, in the first month of the job, most people say to network a lot. 

Unfortunately, you may not get that because a) people are busy, they may not have time to communicate with freshies and b) they just don't work in office. This is quite repetitive as expectation #1 but you have to personally introduce yourself. Perhaps in your weekly department meeting, or on WhatsApp. Make yourself known. 

In fact, if your work culture allows you to, you can suggest that the department has a networking session with the newcomers which will allow old timers to share their experience in the department and for you to understand what are the expectations required from you. I am blessed to be in a department which allows newcomers to bounce ideas openly, in fact, they really appreciate ideas from freshers. It gives them a fresh perspective on their work. Which brings me to expectation #5.

Pandemic or not, you have to do this eventually. Know what your employers expect, and don't be afraid to tell them what are your expectations. Whether it be gaining better communication skills, or learning technical skills, or your career plan. Don't be afraid to voice out. It helps them understand how you work. 

But more importantly, always keep an open mind. In this pandemic (and probably during non-pandemic times too), not everyone has the privilege to get the career they want. It's normal. You'll learn something from it anyways, you always do. Remember, don't ask what the department can do for you, ask yourself, what can you do for the department.

In the office, you have no choice but to work. Instead, you are at home sat opposite your mom who works in a bank that your firm regulates. HAHAHA. That bit is fine, what's not nice is the fact that your motivation will dip. You may have a lot of work and yet you are on your phone. There are times where you just want to nap, so you work late at night to make up for your nap. What I did recently (cause this is what I did when preparing for my exams in final year) is to get into a routine. Sometimes, you may want to go the extra mile and dress as if you are working. But all in all, don't beat yourself up for the lack of motivation. Take your time, and build that discipline.

After writing my previous post, I've been reflecting a lot on what I think about my job. I can honestly say, I love it so far. I get to do a lot of cool things, I get to voice out and my managers and deputy directors (and even Director) hyped me up upon me voicing out. I really like the work culture. Who cares if it's too early for me to say this? I do like the job, and it's so nice to work from home because you care less about what others think of your job. You have the freedom to communicate with those who matter. And I shall do that.