It's unreal to think that it has been a little over a month since I left Malaysia for Japan. 

Many of you might have noticed I disappeared for a very long time from Instagram last year. Record breaking for someone whose an avid oversharer on this platform. Truth be told, I had a tough time, and even that was an understatement. 

But with sadness, comes anger. And with anger comes vengeance. I realised the life I lived in Malaysia no longer served me. And so I prayed to God to let me be in a place far away, where I become a faceless person and do things I've always wanted to do. A place where I am not haunted by the past.

I left with a lot of vengeance and promised myself I will correct my wrongs, and will go for round 2 of studying abroad knowing better.

And suddenly, I find myself stressing out about my accommodation, and a kind soul asked if I need help with it. 

Suddenly, I was tasked to teach a dance class and immediately taught people from all over Asia the zapin dance.

Suddenly, I am on a train with people I want to be friends with, taking them on a minivan for a cute little trip to an artsy tunnel.

Suddenly, I am making ayam gepuk with the Indonesians which reminded me of my ayam gepuk hunting side quests before I head to Japan.

Suddenly, I am invited to go watch one of the biggest firework festival show in Japan, dressed in a hybrid yukata.

Suddenly, I am cooking Malaysian dishes for the friends I made in the summer school.

Suddenly, I am organising an unofficial trip that involved half the summer school cohort, swimming in the sea and watching the sunset with them.

Suddenly, I went for an onsen for the first time, and hosted at least three parties as of today.

I wake up over this past month thinking, is this a dream? Will I ever wake up from this?

But I guess this is where I unleash all my vengeance. I barely got to show what I'm capable of where I was, nor did they bother harnessing it. I doubt that the ghosts of the pasts gave a rat about the things I am doing now. When I come back in two years, I know that I'll be treated the same way, and I could potentially live in that hellish nightmare that I worked hard to run away from.

Barring all that, I realised I find innate joy in making other people happy. I know how it feels like to be in a dark, lonely tunnel. So while we are in a nice bubble now, as a result of our hard work, I want people to know that they've gone so far. Wherever they were in the past can be left behind, and it's time to enjoy this dream as best as they can.

And I hope they too, can feel like it's a dream they never want to wake up from.